


Catch(in') Cookies

by Bass_Line



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: 100 percent Chatfic, Useless lesbian disasters are a thing, Why did I list so many girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 01:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bass_Line/pseuds/Bass_Line
Summary: Catchphrase + Cookies = Disaster





	Catch(in') Cookies

**[Afterglow]**

_ **[8.09 AM]** _

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING AFTERGLOW!

**Tsugu: **Himari-chan, maybe we should tone it down?

**Siscon Tomochin: **dnzkaofhd my eyes hurt after tht block of words

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **ok maaaaaybe less caps

**Human Shadow: **It's 8 in the morning, you better have a good reason for waking us up.

**Tsugu: **Technically it's 8.11…

**Human Shadow: **Can it Tsugumi.

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **GASP

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **DID RAN JUST-?!

**Siscon Tomochin: **omg no u didnt

**God: **can u all stfu

**God: **except tsugu ofc

**God: **n hiichan u woke me up frm my dream abt a bread harem

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **wtf is a bread harem

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **n fyi we r gonna do cookie exchange tmr rmb?

**Human Shadow: **So why wake us up?

**Human Shadow: **The store doesn't close until 8 at night.

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **WELL FOR STARTERS I DUN WANT ANY STORE BOUGHT COOKIES FROM ANY OF U

**God: **GASP

**God: **hiichan no

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **HIICHAN YES

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **NO STORE BOUGHT COOKIES

**Siscon Tomochin: **but how can u tell if its store bought or not

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **thts the thing, i want u all to put in emotion into baking them

**God: **lolololol

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **n to do so u must say ur catchphrase while baking

**Human Shadow: **What.

**God: **the

**Tsugu: **That sounds interesting!

**Siscon Tomochin: **fuxk

**God: **tsugu ruined it

**Tsugu: **I'm sorry?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **i dun care u better do it

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **if i dun feel a same as always or a soiya or even a i love bread from ur cookies, afterglow will be renamed hey hey hoh cult

**Human Shadow: **That's just tacky…

**God: **cult just gives us a bad rep…

**Siscon Tomochin: **asking the right questions here

**God: **how abt hey hey hoh girls?

**Tsugu: **You're already giving up?!

* * *

**[Roselia]**

_ **[3.40 PM]** _

**GothDrummer: **halp i think oneechan broke

**Serious Hikawa: **I think your spelling needs help.

**GothDrummer: **hhhhhhhhh not the time for a burn sayosan

**GothDrummer: **anyways oneechan is shouting at a cookie mix

**Closetedcatlover: **So basically nothing abnormal

**GothDrummer: **ok just how do u see oneechan

**GothDrummer: **like bruh she hasnt done anything to u

**Serious Hikawa: **Maybe she's just hyping herself up.

**Serious Hikawa: **Or maybe she's frustrated with her progress.

**GothDrummer: **ok no oneechan is the most awesomest person ever

**GothDrummer: **cookies r a snap

**Serious Hikawa: **One, 'awesomest' isn't a proper word.

**Serious Hikawa: **Two, stop putting Tomoe-san on a pedestal. She's still human.

**NEET Stamina: **basically ako-chan u shld probably ask her why's she shouting

**Serious Hikawa: **You do that, I'm going over to Hazawa Cafe for some coffee.

**Closetedcatlover: **Bring Lisa with you

**Closetedcatlover: **She's probably moaning Aoba-san's name throughout this conversation

**Serious Hikawa: **WHAT.

**Bass-ic Cookie: **OK NO UR A LYING SHIT

**Bass-ic Cookie: **WE BOTH HV OUR CURTAINS OPEN N U CAN SEE ME FINDING MY UNIFORM FOR WORK

**Closetedcatlover: **Is that why you threw a bra at me?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **omg throw it back

**Bass-ic Cookie: **im wearing tht to work

**Serious Hikawa: **You can just wear another bra?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **yea but like i change in front of moca

**Bass-ic Cookie: **i dun want her to think tht as the resisdent fashion gyaru my bra selection is boring!

**Closetedcatlover: **[plushiecarrier.jpg]

**Bass-ic Cookie: **STOP POSING WITH MY BIG ASS BRA N TOSS IT OVER!

* * *

**[The Awesomest Idol Band!]**

_ **[4.01 PM]** _

**Bushi-yay!: **sayo-san's drinking coffee at hazawa cafe now!

**Fun Hikawa: **aw man i wanna run over right now

**Chisato's a meanie: **what no dun do tht hinachan

**Aya's an idol?: **Agreed.

**Weirdo: **Can someone change my username?

**Weirdo: **I'm not a weirdo…

**Fun Hikawa: **ok

_ **[Fun Hikawa has changed Weirdo's username to Mega Weirdo.]** _

**Fun Hikawa: **there u go mayachan!

**Chisato's a meanie: **press f for mayachan

**Aya's an idol?: **F.

**Bushi-yay!: **f?

**Mega Weirdo: **Huge F

**Bushi-yay!: **tsugumi-san is worrying about putting catchphrases into cookies!

**Chisato's a meanie: **what the hecking heck?

**Aya's an idol?: **Who uses 'hecking heck' in this era…?

**Fun Hikawa: **lol ikr

_ **[Fun Hikawa has changed Chisato's a meanie's username to Hecking Heck.]** _

**Hecking Heck: **HINACHAN CHANGE MY USERNAME RIGHT NOW

**Fun Hikawa: **not until u say fuck like a normal person

**Bushi-yay!: **oh sayo-san just told tsugumi-san that she's a catch after she told her about the catchphrase thing

**Fun Hikawa: **HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Mega Weirdo: **Huge oof

**Mega Weirdo: **Press F for Sayo-san

**Aya's an idol?: **F.

**Fun Hikawa: **f

**Hecking Heck: **f

**Bushi-yay!: **i still don't know what f means...

* * *

**[Popipa!]**

_ **[5.13 PM]** _

**Bonsaisexual: **i need therapy

**Popipa's Bakery: **Omg why?

**Bonsaisexual: **so like, u kno the edgy girl frm afterglow

**Rabbitsexual: **which one

**Rabbitsexual: **they r all edgy

**Bonsaisexual: **the edgiest one

**Starsexual: **ohhhhhhhh ranchan?

**Bonsaisexual: **yep

**Bonsaisexual: **so she called me over cuz she dun know how to bake shit

**Bonsaisexual: **(not tht i kno how ok)

**Bonsaisexual: **n everything went ok

**Chocosexual: **So whats wrong Arisachan?

**Bonsaisexual: **she keeps on saying 'same as always' to her cookie mix

**Bonsaisexual: **ok hang on

**Bonsaisexual: **[wtfno.jpg]

**Popipa's Bakery: **Not gonna lie, that's really funny

**Rabbitsexual: **maybe she wants to raise cookies tht looks like her

**Rabbitsexual: **show us whether her cookies end up looking like her

**Starsexual: **omggggg yessss

**Bonsaisexual: **ur all horrible ppl

**Bonsaisexual: **minue saya n chocosexual ofc

**Chocosexual: **Why is Sayachan the only one with a different name?

**Starsexual: **cuz shes not a breadsexual

**Starsexual: **thts mocachan

* * *

**[HHW]**

_ **[7.26 PM]** _

**Kill Mii-kun: **I regret my life decisions

**JellyKanon: **oh no r u ok misaki-chan?

**Kill Mii-kun: **Physically, yes

**Kill Mii-kun: **Mentally, no

**JellyKanon: **oh no is it kaoru-chan again?

**Princess Fleeting: **Again?

**JellyKanon: **nothing!

**Kill Mii-kun: **Okay so Uehara-san and I happened to meet, and then she told me that her kitchen's on fire after she accidentally spilt oil in the oven

**Princess Fleeting: **Forgive me if I'm wrong... but I don't recall oil being needed inside ovens...?

**JellyKanon: **what she said...

**Kill Mii-kun:** I think it's best if none of us know why

**Kill Mii-kun: **Anyways so naturally being the tired busybody, I offered to lend her my kitchen

**Kill Mii-kun: **She's really good at baking by the way

**Princess Fleeting: **So… You had a wonderful time with Himari-chan?

**JellyKanon: **that's great! why the mental trauma then?

**Kill Mii-kun: **SHE'S CHANTING HEY HEY HOH TO HER COOKIE MIX AS I SPEAK

**Kill Mii-kun: **LIKE DUDE WTF

**Kill Mii-kun: **IT'S LIKE A CULT

**Happy lucky!: **ooooooh r cults fun?

**Smile yay!: **whts a cult?

**Kill Mii-kun: **Okay no we're ending this convo right here go to sleep or something you idiots

**Happy lucky!: **see misaki this is why ur a killjoy

**Smile yay: **is this why u put kill miikun as miikuns username?

**Kill Mii-kun: **Someone ban these two from the chat please

* * *

**[Roselia]**

_ **[9.32 PM]** _

**Bass-ic Cookie: **hhhhhhhhh guys

**Bass-ic Cookie: **moca just

**Bass-ic Cookie: **omg i cannot

**NEET Stamina: **wht did aoba-san do?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **i offered to help moca how to bake cookies

**NEET Stamina: **ooh get it imai-san

**Serious Hikawa: **Shirokane-san?!

**NEET Stamina: **i mean… (insert obscure game lingo here)

**GothDrummer: **lololol rinrin literally said tht

**Serious Hikawa: **Ignoring Shirokane-san...

**Serious Hikawa: **What happened Imai-san?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **she asked me if she had a catphrase

**Closetedcatlover: **Did you say cat?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **srry meant cathcphase

**Bass-ic Cookie: ***catcphase

**Bass-ic Cookie: ***catchphrase

**Closetedcatlover: **Is this why I hear Aoba-san yelling 'I love bread and Lisa-san'?

**GothDrummer: **hhhhhhhh thts not a catchphrase thts a confession

**Bass-ic Cookie: **she says tht she loves me every time tho

**GothDrummer: **press f for mocachan

**NEET Stamina: **f

**Serious Hikawa: **What does 'f' even mean anyways?

**Closetedcatlover: **Sayo, don't think, just press

**Closetcatlover: **F

**Closetedcatlover: **Just like that

**Serious Hikawa: **Fine, 'f'.

**Bass-ic Cookie: **wht why

**Bass-ic Cookie: **also why is everyone in afterglow saying smth to their cookies

**Closetedcatlover: **You can ask Aoba-san?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **tru

**Bass-ic Cookie: **imma ask her

_ **[9.47 PM]** _

**Bass-ic Cookie: **omgggggg

**Bass-ic Cookie: **its all himari

**Bass-ic Cookie: **afterglow has a cookie exchange tmr n she wants them to put their catchphrases in it

**Bass-ic Cookie: **also sayo

**Serious Hikawa: **Hm?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **i heard tht u told tsugumi tht shes a catch

**Serious Hikawa: **FORGET THAT.

**Serious Hikawa: **YOU TOLD ME TO FLIRT WITH HER AND I DID.

**Serious Hikawa: **WHO TOLD YOU?!

**Bass-ic Cookie: **do u want me to ask the others to add u into the useless lesbian disasters grp?

**Closetedcatlover: **Sayo, don't join them

**Closetedcatlover: **I went through Lisa's phone once and trust me, they're really useless lesbian disasters

**Bass-ic Cookie: **fuck u yukina girls like us need a safe space to be gay n useless

* * *

**[Useless Lesbian Disasters]**

_ **[12.02 PM]** _

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **gooooooooood afternoon fellow disasters!

**Bass-ic Cookie: **hiya!

**Hecking Heck: **hinachan still hasnt changed my username

**Hecking Heck: **why does she get rights to my name anyways

**Bonsaisexual: **roll with it lol

**Kill Mii-kun: **How did the cookie exchange go?

**Kill Mii-kun: **By the way, you're paying for my therapy bill

**Bonsaisexual: **wtf why

**Kill Mii-kun: **You try seeing a mini hey hey hoh cult in your kitchen

**Bonsaisexual: **ohhhhh i get it

**Bonsaisexual: **yea i need to bill u my therapy shit too

**Hecking Heck: **im confused

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **okok cookies exchanged

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **omg i got tsugu

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **lucky me shes def gd at baking

**Bass-ic Cookie: **so who got who?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **me (tsugu) ran (tomoe) tomoe (moca) tsugu (ran) moca (me)

**Bonsaisexual: **hahahahaha this is a riot

**Kill Mii-kun: **Come into the world (insert remaining lyrics)

**Hecking Heck: **press f for mocachan

**Bass-ic Cookie: **lololol f

**Kill Mii-kun: **F

**Bonsaisexual: **f indeed

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **f u guys

* * *

**[Afterglow]**

_ **[6.40 PM]** _

**God: **i cant get hiichans hey hey hoh out of my mouth…

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **thts rude

**Tsugu: **Ran-chan's cookies was same as always ^^!

**Human Shadow: **...Thanks?

**Human Shadow: **Tomoe, your cookies basically went 'soiyaaaaaaaaaa'.

**Siscon Tomochin: **i didnt put enough soiya into mine?

**Human Shadow: **It was actually more of a 'SOIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!' to be specific…

**Siscon Tomochin: **oh thk god

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **tomoe hows mocas

**Siscon Tomochin: **uh

**God: **mocachan put all her heart into making those cookies

**God: **is tomochin going to break poor mocachans heart?

**Siscon Tomochin: **i mean i can feel ur heart in ur cookies…

**God: **but ur not showing off mocas heart

**God: **sob

**Siscon Tomochin: **ur cookies went i love bread n lisasan

**Human Shadow: **What.

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **the fuck?

**God: **shit

**God: **tomochin i will pay u in bread for u to delete tht messaeg

**Siscon Tomochin: **this app doesnt allow deleting rmb?

**God: **FUCK

**Tsugu: **Himari-chan, how does mine taste?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **lemme try it first!

**Tsugu: **Okay, let me know how it tastes!

_ **[8.00 PM]** _

**Tsugu: **Himari-chan, have you tried my cookies yet ^^?

* * *

**[Useless Lesbian Disasters]**

_ **[8.01 PM]** _

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **guys how do i tell tsugu tht i can feel the desperate im a tsugu frm tsugus cookies

**Kill Mii-kun: **What's wrong with that?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **she makes me feel guilty?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **like i forced her into it?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **u kinda did tho?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **moca likes u

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **in a gay way btw

**Hecking Heck: **congrats!

**Bonsaisexual: **wait u two r not a thing yet?

**Bass-ic Cookie: **hello useless lesbian disaster here

**Bonsaisexual: **srry i forgot lol

**Kill Mii-kun: **Why is no one concerned that you guys can feel the catchphrases upon eating the cookies?

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **power of friendship lol

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **but srsly gays how to tell her

**Kill Mii-kun: **Be honest you useless lesbian disaster

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **FINE

* * *

**[Afterglow]**

_ **[8.16 PM]** _

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **um well tsugu i felt a desperate im a tsugu frm ur cookies

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **like thks for supporting me but u probs went off the deep end?

**God: **GASP

**God: **HIICHAN JUST LOWKEY DISSED TSUGUS EFFORTS

**God: **U MONSTER

**Human Shadow: **Not to mention that you're the one who wanted us to put in out catchphrases in the damn cookies.

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **OK LOOK I KINDA FORGOT THT TSUGU DUN HV A CATCHPHRASE

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **SO SUE ME

**God: **hello is this the tsugu cops?

**God: **i need u to arrest hiichan here

**Human Shadow: **I can contact Minato-san who can then contact Sayo-san...

**HEY HEY HOH!!!!: **OK NO PLS DUN CALL HER IM LEGIT SCARED OF HER

**Tsugu: **Oh no, it wasn't enough ;^;...

**Tsugu: **I'll do my best to come up with a Tsugurific catchphrase next time!

**Siscon Tomochin: **TSUGU NO


End file.
